Zellacious Quotes

And now for another installment of ‘Funny Kid Stuff’ by Zelly
Zelly, while eating a cookie:
“Mama, this isn’t a M a’M cookie, it doesn’t have M a’Ms in it. It has all these colored candy pieces with chocolate chips underneath.”
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One morning, while we were having breakfast, she gave me a very serious look and asked “Mommy, why does my top lip not move and my bottom lip does?” I stared at her in amusement as my not-quite-awake brain tried to figure out what she was asking. Her upper lip was obviously moving. “Do you mean why does your bottom jaw move?” She nodded and I showed her where her jaw bone attached to her skull so she could feel it move. This led to her opening and closing her mouth in a very mechanical way several times. I have no idea what thought process brought her to that question, but I’m sure it was fascinating.
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Asked while wndl and I were silently reading the paper, “Are you reading in your brains?”
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Lately she been inclined to ramble on about a innumerable topics from her carseat. A few weeks ago she said to Wendy, “Mama, I wanna be a whole buncha beautiful.”
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Current fave words/phrases: “whywhywhywhywhy, why?”, “fabby-lous” and “you’re freaking me out”
Holiday song choice: the Jingle Bells chorus, over and over and over again.
Alternative song choice: songs she makes up sung to the tune of Jingle Bells.
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“Mama, when are your tattoos gonna come off?”
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I came home the other night after a very mentally challenging work day and told Zelly I was tired and my brains were scrambled. She gave me a concerned look and zoomed in to my face. Soon she was giving me little kisses all over my forehead. “I’m helping you unscramble your brains, Mommy.”
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“I can see in the darkness because I have vision in my eyes.”
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Said out of extreme exasperation: “What are you thinking in your brain?!”
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When she was first introduced to bon-bons, she called them “pom-poms”
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One recent morning, Z sprang up from her play area in the living room and exclaimed, “I need something to put the evil science in.”
She scrambled into her room singing “Evil science, evil science, eeeev-il sciiiii-ence” and emerged with a toy cook pot. She announced with great ceremony, “This is a pot for the evil science. It’s a evil science pot.” Wendy and I exchanged amused glances throughout this performance. We don’t know where this latest goofy idea came from. I am somewhat amused at ‘evil science pot’ as opposed to the more common ‘evil science plot’.
Moments later she invited us to a tea party where she was serving ‘evil science’ on little plastic plates. “The ev-il sci-ence is ready, Mommy and Mama, come here and get some.” ‘Evil science’ consists of sponges that look vaguely like tiny farm animals, scraps of paper and little pieces of clam shell. I took a sip of air tea and a faux nibble of evil science and pronounced it ‘spicy’. Zelly nodded knowingly. Wendy was a little late to the party and had to be harangued into attendence by our hostess. I think it’s good to support our daughter in her early culinary efforts. Maybe later she’ll be cooking up evil science on a successful TV show or in a highly funded laboratory and be able to support us in our old age.
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If we taped this child 24/7 we would probably end up with 6-10 hours a day of hilarious footage.
Just now she’s raging away while having an imaginary phone conversation. Listening to her pretend to be mad at her imaginary antagonist, I know exactly where she gets those phrases and attitudes — from us. This raises a question — if she’s hilarious impersonating us and using our conversations as an inspiration, why aren’t we hilarious? Maybe I should start wearing striped tights and a black tutu with a cape and blue jeweled sunglasses.

2 Responses to “Zellacious Quotes”

  1. Dorsie says:

    Alright, it’s official, I’m peeing my pants laughing.. and yes, you’d look fabulous in that outfit! You and Wendy are hilarious…you didn’t know that?
    Dorsie

  2. dancing says:

    Haha I too had a good laugh reading this! I love The Zelly Zone. Thanks for sharing a little bit of Zelly with us. Looking forward to more Zelly quotes in the future!